Simply Not Simple

I've decided to take the world by storm

But, I'm not exactly sure what path to take.  I'm strong and if it is CRPS, they have caught it extremely early which is a definite positive from what I've been reading.  The nerve stuff seems to be helping (along with pain meds) and today I've been able to move my arm without excruciating pain.  Definitely a positive step.  Of course I look stoned all the time, but hey, who cares? Pain free and looking like an addict, or in pain and having perky eyelids.  Not much of a choice there.

I have a favor to ask.  I'm trying to figure out what to do with this new degree and this amazingly strong feeling that I am MEANT to do something, but I would really love to hear your impressions of me.  This seems very politicaaly incorrect, but I would like to know why you return to my blog (and I love you for it- you have no idea how much.)  Also, do you have an impression of a certain type of job that seems to fit my personality?

I know that's asking a lot, but for me it will be a jumping point-I know internet impressions cannot possibly encompass all of who I am.  Even so, it would help.   Feel free to ignore this post if you wish, I know it slighty on the bizarre side.

Spiralling down

This whole arm thing may have possibly turned into a short to long term disability.  Apparently the MRI showed nothing but a tiny cyst that the doc said wasn't big enough to cause the type of pain I'm experiencing.  He has me on pills to try and stop the pain at the nerve level.  He says I have complex regional pain syndrome type 2.  I have a week left in the cast (which helps because I can't move it as much and spaz out the nerves even more), and then they are talking about a nerve block to my arm and possible long term treatment by a pain management doctor.  I do very sensitive work that requires a fully functioning pair of hands so right now I have no idea where my life goes from here.  It may just be a very short term consequence and right now that is what I'm praying for.

It would be a sad, sad thing if I am permanently damaged from roller skating with my kids. 

Happy Birthday to my oldest baby...

She is sweet sixteen.  We got her two beta fish (I named one Hammy) and lots of shoes and she was happy.    She is a beautiful, sweet, funny, momma's girl ,freckled faced, ex-cheerleader nominated for best actress out of all the drama classes, and a beautiful wonderful miracle.

Happy birthday Kelsie, I love you with my whole entire heart.

Some things I wish I had never heard

1. "Click." (My mom hanging up on me when I told her I was pregnant with Kelsie- I was in college in NY, she was in OK)

2. "I have a low sperm count."  Said to me twice: once by a man who was my instructor and once by someone I was instucting. Ew. Ick. What is the point of saying that? No, seriously.  Is that like a bizarre pick up line?

3. " Your father-in-law has been impotent for ten years." Said to me tonight by my mother-in-law.  I could have lived my whole life without knowing that.  Now I'm scarred.

Graduation flowers!

Who knew roses came in orange?

So tell me which shot you like best?

#1

#2

#3

#4

   

#5

And I think Karmyn was the first right with yesterdays question with her guess of cast and sharpies! WTG Karmyn!  And Pamela, you should have seen how psychedelic it was before the stars. 

Can you guess

What this is?  It's a beautiful piece of artwork from my dear friend Daniel, who by the way is a fellow mad scientist.  Daniel's star art made my day yesterday.  Can you guess what his canvas and  medium were?

(Love ya Daniel, you keep me semi-sane in an insane job!)

I don't always appreciate epiphanies

Especially not the kind I had this afternoon while waiting to leave work.

I don't just dislike my job.  I am not simply bored. I don't need a change.  I need out of what I'm doing, permanently.  For eternity.

As I sat there callously disregarding the words coming from patients via phone and email and literally not caring about their plight I realized that I am losing a big, important part of who I am to a job.

That's not me. I'm not me.  I need a new job, and now I have the impetus to make finding a new one a top priority.  I hope I haven't lost myself in the process.

I can't twitter

I'm twitter-tarded.  My sprint phone won't let me text the activation code to the number because it wants me to put an area code in, and it doesn't work that way.  Can you add me (gibnjen) or tell me why I'm twitterilliterate?

Please?

Taking a cast off and taping it back on

Is about as stupid as it sounds.  Slightly more stupid is walking your 80 pound German Shepherd and holding his leash with your broken arm and taped on cast.  There's no telling how much more I damaged it with my sheer genius.

Maybe the mailroom guy is right and I need to be bubble wrapped from head to toe. 

I need your help

Since I have not experienced the loss of a parent, or sibling myself, I need your suggestions  hasto how to best be there for my friends.  I have told them to bring their kids over any time (we live in the same neighborhood), which I think will help some.  What else do they need?  Seeing her dad today was just devastating.  I have never in my life seen anyone so grief-stricken, and I worked in an ER for quite a while, but never have I seen anyone physically broken down.  It broke my heart even more.  Please help me.