Simply Not Simple

Why? Why do I ever feel sorry for myself?

I was having some pretty big "pity me" moments last week.  And now?  Now I feel like an ass for having them.  I found out a good friend of mine's ex-husband molested her sister while they were married. I can't imagine anything more sickening and my heart just breaks for her.  Then I called another friend this morning and her husband's father (I think I mentioned them last week) has pancreatic cancer and was given about 6 months to live.  This same friend lost her mother to an aneurysm over the summer.  Comparatively, my life is roses.  Any my friend that died actually had SEVEN children, not 4 or 5.  His wife's blog is the most amazing thing- full of thankfulness for the time she had with him and the children he gave her.  I am just not that good of a person.  I thank God for the inspirations that surround me.  They definitely keep me humble.

And just to end my "bad" streak, I'm going to post

an actual email I received at work.  It's hard to explain, but I work as a research scientist investigating a potential new disease.  The problem is, it hasn't been proven there IS a disease and there is a distinct possibility these people have a mental, not physical issue (or possibly both).  Because of this there are people trying to sell their "snake oil cures" all over the internet to these sufferers.  One patient who was considering ordering some "snake oil" cc'ed me in on the person's emails to him.  I then told this patient that  I had never even heard of this company or "cure" before and that it would be a waste of his money.  The salesperson then came at me with ALL KINDS of crazy.  Here is the email (writing in red is mine):

Hey Moron Level 3, 

 

Dictionary.com: gastrologist (stomach., A gastrologist is a doctor who studies the gastric system such as the stomach and its diseases.) or Gastroenterologist is another term used (Simply Jen comment: I was confused that day and tried to tell this person there was no such thing as a gastrologist, big stupid mistake on my part, I admit- especially when dealing with loonies) get with the picture, P**l K***** sent us the email with you CC'd!, I was only relying to his request. And FUCK YOU & your criminal scum bag so-called non-accredited college company! taking in donations, I should report your ass to the IRS! )

 

Your nonsense, and FUCK YOU & the horse you came in on!  Your in the dark Research Ass #1,  Your an clown-ass alright!

 

Also, I can speak on dealing in your behalf, your a moron! get it!  Pathogens, you wouldn't even know how to test for that?  You want me to go away, so you can spread your lie!

 

Have a great night you clowns!

 

this is Strongyloides and ASCARIS you dopes!  (these are worms that can infect humans.  If these people had this type of worm a physician would easily be able to recognize and treat it) It is found and it is diagnosed,,,,your making up a new disease to profit on, and pushing infectees away from pursing what could be an epidemic.  Create a new disease, so to through off the CDC, the NIH and FDA, smart thinking clown J** (good god, you share my name!)

 

Take an immune disorder like CFS add Strongyloides, and there you go, results are conclusive- M########## you crook!

 

Later Lumpnuts!

 

J** P****

BIOLOGIST!!!!!!

 

Because, as we all know- if you write the word biologist in capital letters with exclamation points it makes you automatically BE a biologist and there is NO need to oh, say, GET A DEGREE.  Also, apparently this person does not have spell check or understand grammar.  She also appears to have anger issues.  Do you see why I am desparately seeking a new job?  My stress level is through the roof .  But once I leave here I am going to spend 4 days with my kids (and probably only 2 with my husband since he doesn't get a 4 day weekend and works Saturdays). Hopefully I can come back fully relaxed, and knowing that I get 9 days off around Christmas because sometimes working at a state university pays off.

Class was slightly better yesterday

But I still had to squash the "wild" one everytime I stopped speaking because he would automatically just jump in with a completely non-related topic.  He spent most of the class talking about zombies, even after I told him multiple times that they are not even a little bit real.  It is so frustrating and I think if this had been the first class I've ever taught, I might not teach again.  Luckily most of my classes have been throroughly enjoyable.  Just four more days...  I can do it!

The worst day of class I've ever taught...

Friday in my bio for non-majors class was a nightmare. I had a perenially "high" student  get in a fight with one of my calmest students when the calm student told the wild one to "shut up, and act like a grownup".  The wild student was completely out of control and talked or sang or yelled through out my whole class.  He refused to leave although I asked him to several times and myother student was just sick to death of his antics.  When the fight broke out, I reacted like I always do and ended up right in the line of fire.  I was  hit so many times as a child that I have absolutely no fear of being hit, stomped on or maimed.  Really, no fear.  I think because I'm a female I've never actually gotten hit, but even if I did I wouldn't back down.

There was much screaming amongst all the students there and I was on a track to just throw the "high" student out of my class physically.  There was more squawking from everyone and I finally just screamed "Goddamn it M, get the hell out of my class".  Then there was absolute silence.  He left, I went to the dean and then had to field calls from all of them for the rest of the day.  Thank God there are only 4 more classes left- this is the worst class I've ever had to teach.  The Lord only knows what the outcome will be today.  Hopefully they can reign it in for the rest of the semester.

Game room or boxing ring???

We have lived in this house for 6.5 years.  Surrounded by a bitchy dog hating neighbor who got my husband arrested (who owns a freaking kennel/grooming place), cocaine dealers, adopted children who REFUSE to accept our culture and spend too much time in our minimal personal space, drug addicts and true friends, we have lived in this 2800 SF house longer than we've lived anywhere else during our marriage.  The 2800 SF was about 500 SF too big and the room that was officially a formal dining (we're not formal people) and unofficially a game room quickly morphed into a junk room that included a couch that had been eaten by Ginger as a puppy, random tables and a whole lot of cans of paint and assorted junk.  

Well, recently our house cleaner said one of her other clients had a sectional that we could have if we wanted it.  She told us it was old, but in good shape and I told her we would take it.  Then my sister in law gave us a ginormous TV and those combined with my desire to remove the WII from my bedroom (I didn't want it's clutter in my real living room) led us to attempt a new use for that extra space as a kid hang out spot.  So we spent this morning cleaning through the crap and getting rid of junk and then our housecleaner (long time friend) and her husband(my best friend's brother) came and set up the sectional and hauled off our crap to put in their burn pile.

Next we set up the WII and the kids start playing.  You would THINK they would be happy.  The couch is comfy and they don't have to sit in my room to play games.  They would, you think, be excited and work together to play the WII games.   You would think that..... IF you were a mother who knew NOTHING ABOUT CHILDREN.  It has been nothing but fight after fight since then.  I have already taken their cord once and will confiscate it more permenently if I hear "MOOOOOOM" ONE. MORE. TIME.  I ignored the inexplicably broken window (yeah right, I'm pretty sure you would notice slamming into glass), but the continuous fighting?  No deal, y'all.

I think it will  be me doing the boxing, and not boxing of the WII kind.

Happy Birthday Miranda!

I forgive you for trying to kill me during birth.  Now, if you would just quit remembering every single word I have said since you were born, we'll be solid!

I love you my beautiful, sweet, spunky tough child!

Ever had a day when you don't even know what mood you're in?

Well that would be me today.I don't want to work, but I don't really want to go home either.  I feel kind of jumpy-edgy and I have no clue why.  Yesterday I was jump out of my skin edgy so this is definitely an improvement.  I think part of it is the fact that my job is becoming more tenuous because they're budgeting everywhere and I'm the least senior of the senior research associates.  I think of my friend who died and my dog who died (and the cat I wish would die- kidding (kinda)).  The kids don't listen to me about doing their chores and I just don't have the energy to chase them from room to room screaming at them to clean.

Also, my daughter wore my socks.

And my sister-in-law is trying to get me to find out when she and her boyfriend are getting engaged.  I started it by asking when they were getting married (they've  been together for years).

I also have a weird looking rash, but I've been assured it's not chicken pox.  No one can assure me it's not small pox or ebola (ha-bad science humor, but really they couldn't tell me that cause they only know what the INSIDE of a virus looks like.  Geeky retards.)

I finally picked up my diploma, but there was no yay me moment.  There was an "I can't believe that bitches name is on my diploma moment".  I didn't like that.

So what do you say:  bad mood?

My friend passed away on Tues

leaving behind a wife and 7 kids.  He had the kindest, gentlest soul I have ever met and the world is at a loss by his leaving.  I've just been devastated, which doesn't make sense because I haven't even really seen him in 18 years, but then I realized that someone who touches your heart so deeply can never truly be gone.  And those 7 fatherless children?  I can't even bear to think about it.

I'm so deeply saddened.  I probably won't write much for a little while.  I need to try and be as supportive as possible to a friend who was very close to him and has had some bad turns in her own life.

Nauseous and crushed- that about explains my feelings.

I found out yesterday one of my friend's from elementary through high school is dying

from cancer and he wasn't expected to last through the night last night.  I don't know yet if he survived the night.  He had 4 or 5 kids and was one of the sweetest, most humble and thoughtful people I've ever met in my life.  I don't remember him ever getting angry or talking bad about anyone. He has such a kind soul and it's just not fair.

Also, our best friend's (J's) dad possibly has pancreatic cancer. They found out earlier this week, but don't have any definitive answers yet.  His wife (K), also one of my best friends, lost her mother to an aneurism over the summer.

I  just feel so guilty for all the griping I do, because I have never been in these situations and know I'm very lucky for what I do have.

It's a sad day here.

I have a trip to the neurologist today

Hopefully I'm not declared insane because of Simpson hallucinations.  If her magic ball can't see that is what happened during the EEG, I definitely don't think I'll tell her.

I don't know if these results will show if there are effects from my tumor, but I'm kinda half hopeful there is a reason beyond pure clumsiness for my constant falling and walking into walls.  And no, that reason is not alcohol.  My head might hurt less if it was.  Well, I guess until a hangover kicked in anyway.  I've had the same dang headache for 2 weeks, hopefully at least I will get help with that.