You know, the ones where the phone rings at 3 AM and you jump up just knowing that someone in your family is very sick or injured? I don't know why I dislike middle of the night calls (besides the obvious-being woken up at 3 AM). I know that lots of people feel that way about late night calls, but for me it's almost terror.
It may come from the night that my dad's identical twin called and told him he was going to kill himself and then fired his gun. I think I was 12 or 13. Remembering that night is still painful for me. My father was so upset and the memory of that broken hearted wail will forever be engrained upon my memory. My uncle was fine, although apparently he is the charter member of the extreme drama queen club. I had to go outside and hide because I need to be alone to work things through. It hurts my husband that at my saddest times I don't lean on him, but I just really don't know how to do that.
Anyway I got one of those calls last night. It terrified me to hear the phone ringing. I didn't find the phone in time, but this person called back. It was an old friend of mine who had drunk-called me right before Thanksgiving (it was the first time we had talked in at least 12 years). Last night, well actually technically this morning, he started with the guilt trip (and yes, both of us are catholic and the catholic guilt thing is SO true!) He was drunk again and upset because he lost his job. He actually thought I would stay on the phone with him at 3 AM. The last time he called I had to listen to him tell me how much he loved me and that I should give him a chance. Um, hello? I love my husband. We've been married almost 14 years and have pretty much loved each other since 8th grade. This time it was "I'm depressed, you can't hang up on me I might do something, etc. I most certainly would NEVER leave my husband who is a much better person than I am for anyone, but especially not someone as unstable as my friend. And again, I love my husband.
What I want to know is WHY? Why do I get these calls? How come I'm the one people come to when they are suicidal? What did I do to deserve this? I must have been very bad. And to the drunk-call guy: Leave. Me. ALONE! I don't mind talking to you when you're sober and we always were good friends, but I can't take the added drama to my non-simple life. There is plenty of drama between me and all 3 of my girls (not fair! Why did they ALL have to be drama queens like me?). I am still quite upset. To offset the crappy stuff, I am excited because my hubby and I are going to buy a really nice camera so I can take really great pictures of the kids! They're quite adorable.
